Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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