grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
