I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
