your parents love me but you hate me
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize