I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
