Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
