i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
