see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
