I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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