yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
