I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
