"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Shame is for Republicans.
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