I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
