Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
