So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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