I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
