So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
All the doctor said was why
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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