i cant cry in cvs. not again.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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