You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
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