sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Randomize
