From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
