You're my little dorito
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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