it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
