i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
my liver is dry heaving
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
