Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
