what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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