u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
