when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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