There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
