Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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