Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
