so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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