What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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