But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
