Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
