My room smells like vodka and shame
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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