Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
