bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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