When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
