Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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