im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
you traded sex for a burrito?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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