Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
3pm strippers are depressing
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
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