We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
