you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
