There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
