I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
