I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
My ATM looks so different sober.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
