know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
