Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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