Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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